Cloth Diapers.

I knew as soon as it was an option that we would be cloth diapering. From what I hear, a lot of people have trouble convincing their partners it is a viable option. Luckily, I didn't have that problem. All it took was mentioning how much money we'd save (an average of a few thousand dollars over the course of one child) and he was in. Maybe because he hadn't even experienced diapers in general that helped too?

We did have to put LO in disposables at the start, so I choose naturally made ones. Her umbilical cord had some issues and then DH was afraid of leaking so he was scared of cloth. The same day he said that, LO had her first and open poop explosion going up the back in a disposable diaper. We have been exclusive cloth diapering since!

We have about 25 pocket diapers. So there is a shell with a pocket and you shove an insert in there. They are one size, so they have snaps to fit from birth to potty training. We use Alvas, Sunbabys and G-Diapers. The G-Diapers are hand me downs and the rest are super affordable - a few bucks a diaper (including the insert). We single stuff and change every 2ish hours during the day and double stuff during the night so we don't need to change as often.

Yes, they make her bum look pretty darn large, but its also super cute! We have fun prints - spiderman, colorful circles, birds on a wire, flowers, lace. Anything you can dream of is on a diaper. In fact, we are about to have batman and elephant printed diapers on the way. And, LO had a diaper rash constantly in the disposables, now her bum is much friendlier looking.

Why people think its gross? The poop. The smell of a couple days old pee that has been sitting in a wet bag. Yep, it isn't pleasant. But totally doable. I wash her diapers once every 3 days (or less if she went through a lot). Since I breastfeed, I don't have to pretreat anything. I just pull out the insert, dump both in the washer and go. A cold rinse to get poop off, a hot wash to disinfect and a cold rinse to make sure the soap is definitely out. Then dry on low. It takes about 2 hours. We also use cloth wipes, which go in the same load so we don't have to buy any. Our electric bill and water bill have not gone up at all with the extra laundry. And when the sun comes out again, we won't need the dryer.

When LO starts eating solids, then I'll need to make sure to scrap the poop off the diaper. But it is a lot easier these days. You can do it the old fashion way and swirl it around the toilet, use an old spatula to get the poop off. Or you can use a diaper sprayer hooked to your toilet and wash it down. Or, if you are really grossed out by it, get organic bamboo (or other) flushable liners. You put it on top of the diaper and then just lift and flush when there is poop. It is biodegradable and something you can feel okay about.

So for oh maybe $300 we have all the diapers we'll need until she is potty trained. And then for nothing, we'll have the diapers we need for our next kid. Sure, I'll find cute prints here and there to add into the collection, but I don't need to. And we will never go, shit, I need a diaper and have to run to the store. Because we never run out. It is just a load of laundry away.

Granola Crunchy.

In today's baby world, people like me are called Crunchy or a Hippy. I prefer crunchy because when I think of hippy, well, people don't always use that word to mean the nicest things anymore (generally it means you're dirty, gross and probably high - of these I am none. Well definitely not high. I may be dirty and gross if I am covered with spit up or have poop on my hand I didn't see. Things like that).

Crunchy parents are those who want do to everything as organically as possible. It generally starts out with wanting a natural birth so you aren't giving drugs to your unborn baby or affecting the length of your labor. That was my intention, but I would not have made it without pain medication.

Then it generally consists of people who do these things:

- Exclusively breastfeed: I am gracefully allowed the ability to do this so far and hope I make it as long as I want to. Some people feed for the first few years of life, I will probably stop around the one year age. While I am uncomfortable with older children feeding, it is the choice of the parent/child so its not my place to say anything about it. If you can't breastfeed at all, that doesn't make you less crunchy or less of a Mom. But a crunchy Mom might just use glass bottles :)

-Cloth Diapers: Eco-Friendly, Baby Butt Friendly. My next post will be on this.

-Baby Wearing: This is one of my favorite things to do, I couldn't imagine using a stroller especially one where LO faces away from me. Baby wearing helps keep their temperature regulated by being close to you, helps your milk production, helps both your stress levels. Lets you constantly cuddle and when LO is crazy fussy, wear her around the house so you can get stuff done. You have arms while taking care of your baby. And it lets your LO look around, but when they get overwhelmed, they can nuzzle into you (which can't happen in a stroller). I highly suggest the moby and ergo. Maybe a ring sling for easy use and short trips. Do your research.

-Co-Sleeping/Bed Sharing: We bed shared most of the first few weeks of her life because she wouldn't sleep any other way. And that makes sense, babies need to be near their parents to feel safe because they are so vulnerable. But, I personally am completely uncomfortable with bed sharing (I have no problems if you want to). DH is a deep sleeper and moves around a lot, I'm terrified I would as well. So we co-sleep with her in the room with us. I'm not yet sure when we will decide to move her into her own room.

- Delayed Vaccines: Some will not vaccinate their kids at all. I personally think that is really dangerous, but am delaying. We hit her 4 month shots caught up and then will catch up again at 6 months, etc. By the time she enters school she will have all the same vaccines as anyone else. But getting the shots is traumatizing for the baby and in my opinion, there is no need to so quickly overload their bodies. For example, putting off Hepatitis B for a few weeks probably won't hurt anyone. The main reason I decided to delay is because a lot of babies have reactions to certain vaccines, but if you get them all at once you have no idea what the allergy is to. This way I know exactly how she reacts to everything.

-Baby Food Making/Baby Led Weaning: Baby food making means you make all your own food, generally using organics. This was my intention, but after researching we will do baby led weaning. This means she decides when she is ready for solids - could be five months, could be nine. And I don't make special foods for her, she eats whatever DH and I are eating (still one food at a time, every three days to allow for allergic reactions).

-Right now, I also follow LO's schedule completely. When she says she is hungry, she eats. When she tells me she is tired, I try my darnest to make it easy for her to fall asleep. When she wants to play, we play. I follow her schedule. In keeping track with it, I know she does actually have a sort of schedule and by four months, we will be sticking to that. Babies do like routine.

-Placenta Encapsulation (see older posts)

-Organic toys: Right now its easy because LO is young and doesn't need as much interaction from toys to be entertained. But I do attempt to get her all natural toys - definitely organic teething elements. We have teethers and a nursing necklace that are fully organic since they do go in her mouth. With that said, we have two Fisher Price toys that she loves (ish) and one of them I have no idea what I would do without. But I also enjoy toys that either making calming noise or no noise because I easily get sensory overloaded with noise myself.

That is all I can think of for right now, I will post more if I can remember more. And I am in no way telling you to be a crunchy parent, I just couldn't do it any other way. This is what seems natural to me. But I will say, do your research. Know why choices are made and make them for yourself and your child. I think its important to know why you are doing things a certain way - and not just because its what someone else says is best.

Until then, cheers to napping baby!

For the Strong-Willed.

A friend of mine asked me for advice about being a Mom. Real advice. The kind of advice that people call honest. Luckily, that is all I have when it comes to parenting. I really don't think I could sugarcoat it and make it seem like its all glamorous. Because right now, we very rarely have glamor. Some days I settle for survival.

Before I give my advice, let me say that I completely understand everything below is personal to me. Not every mother-child, mother-self, parent-parent relationship will be the same. In fact, it would be an impossibility. So this advice that follows is not necessarily ever going to be relevant to you. Especially if you are going to be a out-of-the-home working mama.

- Get your sleep in now. Seriously. I haven't gotten a straight night of sleep in since pre-pregnancy when I didn't have to get up to pee all the time. And I haven't gotten more than about 4 hours of sleep in a row since two days before my daughter was born.

- Know what and when growth spurts and wonder weeks are. Growth spurts are physical growth spurts, your kid is bulking up, getting longer and stronger. Wonder weeks are intellectual spurts where new mental capacity is being learned. With both your baby is f-u-s-s-y crankypants. Knowing it is going to end and how to help makes it bearable.

- You may hate breastfeeding. I was told it would feel like a kiss to my nipple. Egggggghhhh, wrong answer. For me it feels more like rug burn. And when the milk comes in, supposedly some people feel calm, almost like they are high. I feel like a thousand needles are coming in with force and about to explode out my breast. So I hate the physical side of breastfeeding. BUT, I love the emotional bond, the fact that its free and that it is the best option for us. (And that its an excuse to get her back from people, only I can feed her!)

- If you can do it, pump and store milk so your partner can share night feedings. I physically have no problem doing so, I have a supply in the freezer. But I can't stand the thought of my daughter having a bottle or someone else feeding her. And I can't sleep through her noises, so I'd be up anyways. But having the ability to get 4 hours of straight sleep instead of being up every 2 can make a big difference.

- I did not bond immediately with LO. There was no rush of emotion as they put her on my belly. It took me a few weeks to feel that overwhelming love everyone feels. There is nothing wrong with that.

- While I suffered only from minor postpartum depression/anxiety, know that it can happen and be prepared. I had my therapist, my doctors and DH ready and asked them to tell me if they thought I needed medication. I trust their opinions and my doctor did tell me once he thought I may need it. I refused saying it was too early to jump on the bandwagon and DH agreed so I stayed medication free.

- I highly recommend placenta encapsulation. Yes, in practice it is gross. But you don't know you are ingesting it and the benefits are amazing. It definitely helped with postpartum emotions and increases my milk supply.

- You will get exhausted. Just be ready for it. I have gotten so tired that I will sit down and cry. I ran a red light because I didn't even know there was a light there (luckily it had just switched and was not busy). When I get tired, I also get extremely angry. Have your coping mechanisms ready.

- Cloth diaper. It sounds gross, the first few times you go to wash them it is gross. But its better for your  baby's skin, the environment and saves money. $200 for all the diapers we need for multiple babies. My water and electric bill have not gone up and I wash 2x a week.

- Right at this second, someone is telling me how much harder it is to be a working mom. Because they work 40+ hours a week outside the home and then do all the same things a sahm does. Neither one is easy and for different reasons. But being a sahm Mom is not easy. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you accomplish nothing for the day but having a fed and happy baby, that is allowed to be enough. A working Mom doesn't do a lot of the same things a sahm does.

- You are going to have to ask for help. Well maybe. I only ask for help from DH. Other people offer help, but I have a really hard time accepting it. My daughter is my responsibility, so I should be the one not sleeping, not going out, not doing whatever. But you have to do those things to keep your sanity. So accept the help.

- Keep open communication with your partner. If you are exhausted, angry, depressed, happy, thrilled about something. If he isn't hearing you or you have a suggestion on how to make things easier. It may not fix anything, but at least I can say I am so tired and DH will say, I'll take her this weekend so you can sleep in. Or he at least knows I am in a sour mood and to be weary!

- My body is wider. I have stretch marks. I'm still in pain moving around (3 months after giving birth). My body feels different. I have some extra weight. None of it really bothers me that much. Mostly the extra weight, I can't wait to exercise again and tone my body up. And I wish I had a new wardrobe because even though my clothes fit, they fit differently.

- This is hard. Being a Mom is really freaking hard. Is she growing, is she sick, is she teething? What if I can't make her better? Oh my gosh, she is crying real tears! She still eats every two hours around the clock, when will it stop? There are so many small things that make it physically and emotionally draining. All the worry, all the unknowns.

- Advise your partner and be advised by them. I am highly familiar with babies. DH was not. So if I tell him how to change a diaper, activities LO may like to do or why she is crying he listens and acts accordingly. One day maybe he will remember each of these things:)

- It is true. It is worth it. After a really hard day and you go to bed wondering what you have gotten yourself into. That you can't take the lack of sleep and the crying and how unhappy your baby seems, you wake up and she is smiling, blowing bubbles, jabbering and eventually laughing. That makes the upcoming bad day you know is coming worth it. And when you forget, you hopefully get another morning like that to remind you.

I'm sure there are more things. And my view on things will also be skewed because I am a crunchy mom (see next post). Perhaps I will occasionally update with advice I find relevant because I know it will always change.

Oh, last one. Find your thing that is comforting and relaxing. It has to be something you can do while taking care of your baby because you don't always get a break. For me, its a really good cup of coffee. If LO is having a bad day and screaming and feels horrible and I am on my last straw, a cup of coffee can make be remember to breathe again. Especially when DH makes it while taking care of LO or brings me home my favorite (or close to favorite depending on where his drive is) pre-made coffee so I can just sit back and relax. And I make sure to get a shower in every night before bed while DH watches her. That is my one 15 minute break a day I get. It would be longer if our hot water lasted longer than 10 minutes:) !

PS: Do enjoy it, all of it! I love watching DH with her because they are amazing together. (And remind each other you really are good parents). And I always want to smack people when they say, oh it goes by so quickly, enjoy it when they are little. $&*$%&@ $(%(*@#!!% would be my immediate reaction. But its totally true. She is three months and I think, wow that did go by quickly. She already wants to cuddle less, she wants to play at the same time she eats. And she is huge.

I try to document every month birthday (haha lame lame) with a fun photo. I up my standard every month to create something even more fun. This will continue as long as she allows me to do it and then become a yearly thing I think. But I put in her favorite things (generally what she has learned in the last month), her weight and what I think she may be when she grows up based on her current favorite skill. Then when I look back I will know exactly when she hit certain milestones or what kind of baby she was when.

And just remember, no matter what you choose to do you are a fantastic Mom/Dad. It doesn't matter if you are exhausted and crying. If you are angry and swear in front of your LO (she won't know the word yet anyways), if you feel overwhelmed. If you are depressed or anxious or lonely or anywhere in between. If overall, you have a happy, growing baby who is healthy (or you are trying to get healthy, god forbid), you are a good Mom and a good Dad.

Into February.

We have graduated into February and are soon to be three months old. It never used to seem like it would, but time has progressed quickly. Instead of a crying, crazy baby with no sleep we have a sometimes crying, crazy, smiling baby with no sleep. That few hours she is awake and happy during the day make a huge difference in how it feels. I'm still utterly exhausted and in need of a nap. The past two days I've had two coffees. We are already starting to teeth so last night was a lot of painful cries and very few zzz's.

But last week, we had very special visitors! DH was gone for most of the time on a business trip. It was my first time being in the house alone and with an infant. Luckily, I was mostly too tired to get anxious about it. I did, however, sit in the dark the first day alone so that LO would sleep instead of scream. That caused some minor depression on my part. But once we got into the routine, it was okay. She did really well sleeping at night for me and we got through it. I definitely missed the breaks in the evening I am used to getting when DH comes home. And getting to shower without worrying about if she is crying or needs something. But then, her godparents came to meet her (finally it worked out!).

M came down earlier and did some baby snuggling, which gave my arms their first real baby free time in a few days. H joined on Saturday and stayed for another day. DH came home Friday night. And this is why these two people are two of the most amazing people I know, in every way possible. After paying (in bus ticket and gas) to get down here they proceeded: to do two photo shoots (lo is seriously adorable), watch LO so DH and I could go on a date, give us money for the date, make me a birthday torte, give me a birthday card, cut my hair and made us breakfast. I'm pretty sure it should have worked the other way around since they were our guests. We had a fantastic weekend, got some stress out, got out of the house and had an fantastically delicious omelette (plus of course the torte, I do love chocolate right now).

And this is now our February. It is Valentine's Day and LO is wearing a heart, about to fall asleep for a nap. I will enjoy my first cup of coffee and start working on my writing assignments until she wakes up. Then hopefully I can finish them today so tomorrow I can do things I enjoy. Besides, of course, taking care of my daughter.

She now grabs onto everything, plays with toys and interacts with the cat (her best best friend ever). There has never been a time in my life I have been so proud to see such changes overnight. Huge, momentous things are happening here and it has only just begun.