The Birth.

It happened, she finally arrived with a little assistance. I had been telling my doctors that I needed something to ripen my cervix up in order to go into labor because with all the contractions I was having, I know it wouldn't dilate fast itself. In fact I dilated about a centimeter a month. And so finally at 40w2d they allowed me to have an induction. DH and I got to the hospital at 8pm and I was already dilated to a 2 and having contractions 3-4 minutes apart. The contractions just weren't strong enough.

The doctors thought if they could further the dilation, I could go into active labor on my own and attempted to insert the foley bulb - three painful times. The foley bulb is catheter placed in the vagina and through both sides of the cervix. A balloon on the end is then inflated and every 30 minutes a nurse yanks on it, forcing your cervix open. Unfortunately it could not be properly placed in me and they offered to let me go home. I declined and said I would not be leaving without a baby.

We then monitored my contractions for another 30 minutes without me moving and they slowed down to every 6 minutes. They would allow me at this point to try either cervadil or cytotec. The doctor on call really tried to push the cytotec, but I would not have it. It is a pill inserted into your vagina that the body absorbs and helps the cervix out. It generally causes pretty intense contractions and cannot be taken out. The company that manufactures it states it is not safe to use in this fashion and the FDA does not approve the use of it either. So we went with cervadil - a gel placed on a tampon that can be taken out. Normally it is in you for 12 hours and requires a 2nd dose to do anything. Lucky me, that is not what happened!

After 2 hours I asked for it to be removed, my contractions were entirely too strong and one on top of the other. It was pulled out and I was having extreme anxiety from the pain. My nurse decided to give an IV drug that helps for about 30-1hr minutes and you can only get every hour. It works less the more you get it. It took a few minutes to hit and then I had to sit down. I remember saying, oh this is a good drug, this is really good. But after the first dose I labored for four hours naturally. I walked, got in a jacuzzi tub, rocked in a chair. Moaned and said "ow" very loudly over and over. Until I couldn't take it anymore and got another shot of the drug. At that point, my lovely nurse (every nurse I saw was incredibly nice and helpful and didn't mind my loud pain noises or constant calling of them to my room for help) ordered my epidural. I was still only dilated to about a 3 and knew when my water broke the contractions would get worse and I couldn't deal with a higher level of pain.

Another hour later and the epidural people arrived and I cried and tried not to panic because the thought of it terrified me. DH got to hold my feet, the nurse held my hand and I held onto a pillow. Really it wasn't a terrible process, I don't want to do it again, it was uncomfortable and at times painful, but we all made it through. The worse part is that the epidural formula didn't actually work for me, so I had to get a bonus shot of extra drugs every few hours to help it out. My doula arrived right after this was put in.

At this point, I got in a short nap during which time my water broke by itself. I felt one small gush, but my legs were incredibly numb from the epidural. In fact, I couldn't even move my right leg at all and it made me slightly anxious. I made sure either my doula or DH was with me at all times because I hated that loss of control. I still felt some contractions - especially when the bonus shot wore off. I rolled in between different positions on the bed and then we realized Magoo was still slightly turned in the wrong direction. I had to lie on my left side with my leg thrown over me onto a table and propped up by multiple pillows. At some point during that she turned the correct way.

The rest of the labor is pretty much a blur to me. I remember the doctors, my original nurse (I think we cycled through 5 during the course of the labor), a student nurse, my doula and DH all there telling me it was time to push. I tried to concentrate on staying quiet and focusing my energy into the actual push. We tried a few different positions. I constantly asked where she was to try to determine how much longer the pushing would take. I was exhausted because I basically had been awake for 48 hours. At some point my epidural wore off and the contractions were so painful I couldn't even push. Somewhere down the line I passed out - apparently for 30-45 minutes because of the exhaustion. I had to get an oxygen mask. I woke up to my doctors telling me either I had to have vacuum assist or pitocin to help get Magoo out because she was distressed. Because of a bump in my pelvis, every time I pushed unless I could push hard enough to get her pass that, she slid back to where she started. DH kept saying pitocin pitocin and I, not realizing at that point exactly what it would do, knew I couldn't handle stronger contractions and said no. They went to do a vacuum assist, but before they could somehow I started screaming and pushing for what seemed like forever. They did assist getting her out, but much more minimally than expected. There was a lot of stretching and some burning, but honestly the actual arrival of her hurt a thousand times less than the contractions to get to that point.

My doctor placed her on me and helped pump the cord blood into her because they didn't want to wait for it to be done. I had to have her taken off because I was nauseated (I threw up 3 times during labor) and the weight of her on my stomach was making it a lot worse. I remember asking if I could take my legs down (they were stitching up a tear I had) and then DH doing some skin to skin time with her while I couldn't. Eventually my legs got to be put down, I threw up again and I held Magoo again. She was a lovely 8lbs 2ozs and 20.5 inches long. A pretty darn good size baby - without a name.

The last part of my labor came when we all realized I couldn't pee on my own yet and hadn't gone in over 4 hours. With a constant IV drip, that was a problem. I had to have my catheter put back in and they took 700mL of urine out of my bladder. In other words, A LOT. I then started having pain from the catheter so they took it back out - apparently my bladder went into spasms from holding so much and then emptying.

So after 24 hours of active labor and 4 hours of actively pushing, a baby was born on the 21st. Here's to Ellowyn.

Come and Go.

Everyone thought Magoo would arrive early: "You're having too many contractions to last much longer, "you'll be back this weekend," or "it won't be more than two weeks." Here we are with Magoo still kicking around my uterus and other organs days past when she was supposed to arrive. I really am not surprised, I never anticipated my body being able to get into gear and jumpstart labor on its own. Obviously Magoo has been trying, but either she is half-hearted in her attempts or my body rejects them.

So this brings me to: No, I haven't had the baby yet so stop asking. If Magoo was born and you didn't know, there is a reason for that. It doesn't matter what that reason is, I don't want you to know. So asking will accomplish nothing but a further invasion of privacy. Especially if it comes with, "I'm impatient, I can't wait anymore." Two words there: F*** You. Suddenly you remember a baby is due about this time (let's face it, due dates are due weeks and should be counted two weeks before and after the date. Nobody can say a baby is due on one specific date). But I'm the pregnant one, I'm the one doing the work so she can do hers. I'm the one who has felt sick or been in pain for 40 weeks (no exaggeration, I knew I was pregnant on day 3). So don't tell me you can't wait any longer.

And don't think its okay to ask a pregnant woman a question that you wouldn't ask any other person walking down the street. Because it isn't, it is still rude. Just because a woman can grow a child doesn't mean she is public domain. Don't touch her, don't ask personal questions. Don't ask when she is due. Don't tell her that her belly is huge and she must be due soon or carrying twins. Don't tell her how lucky she is to have a small stomach or tell her she looks tiny. That is also rude. If you have something to say it should be "Congratulations" or "you look so healthy." Or smile and keep walking. Don't park in pregnant parking spots, don't try to run her over while she slowly walks through a crosswalk. Don't make her stand on a bus while you sit. Luckily, I have been pretty lucky in the NW. Very few people have asked me when I was due. We don't have spots for pregnant women to park so that doesn't matter. And generally people either let me ahead of them in line or a cashier will open up for me so I don't have to wait. People here get boundaries.

So, what this means is relax. I have had to. DH has to. Everyone has to. You'll get the information you want on my timeline or not at all. It is pretty simple really. And even as I finish this post, guess what? The only baby here is the one in utero and the sad puppy on the couch. My, oh my.