Come and Go.

Everyone thought Magoo would arrive early: "You're having too many contractions to last much longer, "you'll be back this weekend," or "it won't be more than two weeks." Here we are with Magoo still kicking around my uterus and other organs days past when she was supposed to arrive. I really am not surprised, I never anticipated my body being able to get into gear and jumpstart labor on its own. Obviously Magoo has been trying, but either she is half-hearted in her attempts or my body rejects them.

So this brings me to: No, I haven't had the baby yet so stop asking. If Magoo was born and you didn't know, there is a reason for that. It doesn't matter what that reason is, I don't want you to know. So asking will accomplish nothing but a further invasion of privacy. Especially if it comes with, "I'm impatient, I can't wait anymore." Two words there: F*** You. Suddenly you remember a baby is due about this time (let's face it, due dates are due weeks and should be counted two weeks before and after the date. Nobody can say a baby is due on one specific date). But I'm the pregnant one, I'm the one doing the work so she can do hers. I'm the one who has felt sick or been in pain for 40 weeks (no exaggeration, I knew I was pregnant on day 3). So don't tell me you can't wait any longer.

And don't think its okay to ask a pregnant woman a question that you wouldn't ask any other person walking down the street. Because it isn't, it is still rude. Just because a woman can grow a child doesn't mean she is public domain. Don't touch her, don't ask personal questions. Don't ask when she is due. Don't tell her that her belly is huge and she must be due soon or carrying twins. Don't tell her how lucky she is to have a small stomach or tell her she looks tiny. That is also rude. If you have something to say it should be "Congratulations" or "you look so healthy." Or smile and keep walking. Don't park in pregnant parking spots, don't try to run her over while she slowly walks through a crosswalk. Don't make her stand on a bus while you sit. Luckily, I have been pretty lucky in the NW. Very few people have asked me when I was due. We don't have spots for pregnant women to park so that doesn't matter. And generally people either let me ahead of them in line or a cashier will open up for me so I don't have to wait. People here get boundaries.

So, what this means is relax. I have had to. DH has to. Everyone has to. You'll get the information you want on my timeline or not at all. It is pretty simple really. And even as I finish this post, guess what? The only baby here is the one in utero and the sad puppy on the couch. My, oh my.