Mother's Unite.

I've been staying at home for too long, trying to figure out what I want to do with my life and what I am capable of doing. Then seeing how these two things can mesh. Things were falling into place until the pregnancy happened - not that the pregnancy was out of the blue, but definitely earlier than we thought (how many people get knocked up on the first not trying to not try attempt?). So what I was putting into place no longer worked.

A study was just completed this year because Portland has been nicknamed the place where young people come to retire. It turns out, people who come to Portland just want a laid back, environmentally friendly city that is relatively accepting of everyone. We are actually one of the most underpaid major cities in the country and people are okay with that because of the environment. But that means, even with a Master's, I could never make enough money to cover the costs of daycare. I may break even, but why work just to afford some other person watching our kid? This means I will continue to stay at home with our daughter, hoping to find some online job to do to make extra money because ends are not meeting. Even with a strict budget, once DH and I add in our student loans, the bills will outweigh all our income. That is stressful.

So right now I am getting together a page to sell crafty things - we need to put together a lot to be able to afford the birth I want, the little things babies need and the big things an old house needs. Writing little articles and doing what I can. And I am starting to meet other Mother's in the area. Because before when I was home figuring things out if I didn't like it the only person I had to blame was myself. I don't want to be at home, not doing things and blaming my daughter. I went to a meeting to meet other Mom's a couple weeks ago (luckily free since I didn't have a baby yet) and today met up with a couple other Mom's for a hike. The hard part is not being able to afford to do extra things, so having to do things that are free. But we are making it work and every person I met has been extremely friendly and welcoming. I am back to getting out there. Not in the way I expected and still trying to figure out how to be a parent, a friend and an adult (as in having more to do than just parent). And knowing I can't figure it out until she is born, we are acquainted, I know her personality and schedule and how things will work for us as a family. So 5 more weeks, c'mon! There is a full moon on October 29th. Everyone keep your fingers crossed!